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18-Nov-2017 19:00

Those differences, and my advice for shy nerdy females, will be the subject of another post.

(That’s the thing about blogging: in for a penny, in for a post.) I struggle always to be ready to change my views in light of new arguments and evidence.

When I started writing comment 171, I filled it with anecdotes from the happier part of my life (roughly, from age 24 onward): the part where I finally became able to ask; where women, with a frequency that I couldn’t have imagined as a teenager, actually answered ‘yes’; and where I got to learn about their own fears and insecurities and quirks.

In the earlier draft, I also wrote about my wife’s experiences as a woman in computer science, which differed from Amy’s in some crucial ways.

I don’t want my two-year-old daughter to grow up to be anyone else’s property, and I’m happy that she won’t.

And I’d story should be listened to—and concretely, that everyone should feel 300% welcome to participate in my comments section.

I’m equally grateful to have gotten interesting, compassionate responses from feminist women.

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I owe the writers of those emails more than they owe me, since they’re the ones who convinced me that on balance, I did the right thing.

After reflecting on the many thoughtful comments here, there are two concessions that I’m now willing to make.